A Touch of Sake
by C War
Summary: Lee isn't the only ninja who reacts to sake. Five and a half pairings, someone is in two, that I'll let you read to find. One-shot


_Sake can have some mysterious affects on shinobi. Take, for example, Rock Lee's Drunken Brawler, where he slips into an unconscious state and continues to fight, becoming a truly fearsome foe. This is the story of other shinobi from Konoha who have some…interesting changes when sake becomes involved._

_The setting: Two years after Naruto returned from his long training with Jaraiya. War has broken out again between the shinobi nations, with Suna and Konoha allied against the other three Great Shinobi Nations. However, none of the three are allies, and they fight each other as much as the Suna-Konoha alliance. But that doesn't mean that it is easy for the two nations, who were weakened by previous conflicts and are not yet back to the strength they once had. Orochimaru and Akatsuki left Konoha and Suna tattered and torn, and mending takes time. Time that they no longer have._

_ The battlefield: The edge of Suna. Konoha has sent two squads, made up primarily of recently-promoted Jounin, to aid Suna's defense. And while two squads may not seem like much, there is something about these two squads that makes quite a difference. However, since Konoha was loathe to lend Suna both of their Sharingan, Kakashi remained behind, letting Shikamaru lead "Team Kakashi" and "Team Kurenai" on this mission. The arrival of the seven in Suna was greatly appreciated, and well timed, as they spotted the enemy after less than an hour of waiting._

"They're coming," Hinata said tentatively. "From the southeast, and southwest."

"What's the ETA, Hinata?" Shikamaru asked.

"At current speed, three minutes," came the response.

"Alright, then. Anything else?" asked Temari, running command with Shikamaru.

"The eastern group is from the Village hidden in Rain, and the western group is from the Village hidden in Clouds."

The two strategists discussed for a moment. "Alright, then. Kiba, take your group towards the southwest. Sasuke, lead the rest of your team to the southeast," Temari barked. "Kankuro, follow Kiba's group."

"Gaara, Temari and I will head due south to the wall to coordinate, and help where needed," Shikamaru finished. Gaara, of course, would be able to help both sides from that vantage point. Shikamaru, on the other hand, had few shadows to work with near Suna, especially on the south end of the town, since they were well into the northern hemisphere. So his best help would be strategy. Temari, of course, could be a great help to either, but two great strategists, working together as they had found they could, were a great boon to any battle.

Gaara had a few last words before they parted. "Remember, this is a defensive battle. Don't expose yourselves or the village to harm." The others nodded, and then the group headed off in three directions.

As Shikamaru, Temari, and Gaara reached the wall, Naruto crackled over the radio. "We're in position."

"Alright. Delta Clone should be right for this situation," Shikamaru responded.

"Dattebayo!" Naruto shouted excitedly, leaving the other ninjas' ears ringing.

"Just remember to take off that radio!" Temari barked, making more ears ring.

"He's taking it off," Sakura responded calmly.

"We've arrived in our position," Kankuro called a moment later. "Orders?"

"Have each of your puppets escort and aid one of the Konoha Ninjas," Temari advised him. "I'd suggest Karasu with Hyuuga Hinata, Kuroari with Inuzuka Kiba, and Sanshouo with Aburame Shino."

"Got it," Kankuro replied tersely.

"Feel free to change that, if the situation merits it," Temari finished.

"Understood. Kankuro out."

"The rest of you, you've worked together for years, so you know the best tactics for this better than I do. Work with the puppets, not against them."

"Yessir," came three responses. The three on the wall then prepared to watch the clash unfold. All three of them held binoculars, to oversee the battlefield.

The eastern group approached first, the larger of the two with about 30 shinobi. Only a score of ninja were approaching from the southwest, and they moved a bit more cautiously. Now, thirty shinobi against three may seem an imbalance, but when these three are already developing a reputation as the New Sannin, then the thirty are probably out of luck. However, as their faces are not well known amongst their enemies as of yet, these thirty think that they have easy pickings, with three youths standing between them and a raid on the Village Hidden in Sand.

"Everyone, now!" Sasuke shouted, and then, in unison: "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Now, the thirty faced ninety, thirty shadow clones of each of their opponents.

"Alright! Let's get 'em!" the Narutos shouted in unison.

"Naruto, wait!" the Sakuras scolded. "Remember the plan."

"Heh, too easy," the Sasukes chuckled morosely. "I wonder which will be the first?"

That set them off. The thirty ninjas charged forward into the Shadow Clones, using their own varied jutsus to attack them. But of course, they didn't get off scot-free. By the time that the shadow clones were gone, only fifteen remained on their feet. The other half of the group was either unconscious or dead.

"Where are they?" one of them asked.

"Did we get 'em?"

"Were they even here?"

"They're hiding somewhere…"

"Nice work, Naruto," Sasuke said to his now-exhausted teammate. "Leave the rest to us." He waited for a response from Sakura, but she was already at work with the next part of their delta attack. After two years under Tsunade, Sakura had spent the following two years studying Genjutsu, which she was using now. Sasuke listened as her work spread through the confused Rain shinobi.

"There, it's the girl!"

"There's the blonde brat!"

"The black haired punk is mine!"

"Hey, I'm on your side!"

"Watch where you're throwing that!"

"Ow! Hey, friendly fire!"

Even though he was nearly unconscious, Naruto started to laugh quietly, and Sasuke chuckled, too. Even Sakura was giggling, though it was hard while concentrating on the Genjutsu. So Sasuke decided that it was his turn to step in. While the Genjutsu images could only throw fake shuriken or kunai, he could throw real ones, or do a variety of other things. And while captives could be dangerous, and perhaps these grunts wouldn't be worth much in trade, they would have families to return to. And there was always that extra challenge in capturing instead of killing a foe. It was easier due to the Genjutsu (which, due to the real Shadow Clones, the shinobi hadn't caught on to yet), but it would still be a challenge.

And it was. After knocking out three of them, some of the remaining dozen recognized the tactic. "Kai!" they echoed, releasing the hold of the Genjutsu. And freeing Sakura for some regular fighting. Naruto, not wanting to be left out of the finale, darted from cover as well, having saved some of his strength just for this. Between Sakukra's Insane Strength, Sasuke's Sharingan, and Naruto's extreme endurance (and more clones), the remaining dozen were unconscious within the minute.

"Hm, let's see…4 minutes, 12 seconds. Our new record for a group of thirty!" Sakura said excitedly. She then ran around examining the wounded, healing those she deemed necessary. Captives, after all, held value that corpses didn't. "And…4 dead, a new best as well." She wasn't as exuberant about that. As a healer, she didn't like to see any unnecessary deaths, whichever side.

By this time, the other group had wandered within range of the defenders, although due to Shino's chakra bugs deadening their auras, none of them could sense the trap that they were walking into. Until they heard Akamaru bark loudly behind them. With the new paint jobs that Kankuro had put on his puppets (not without help) it appeared to the newcomers that they were surrounded by three beasts and five humans (since Karasu's paint made him look more human than beast).

"Alright, remember our plan!" Kankuro shouted. They had revealed themselves, but now some of them ducked into cover. Shino, already inside of Sanshouo, let his bug clone dissolve, and they began to swarm around the enemies, consuming their chakra and making a nuisance of themselves. Kankuro joined him under cover, mastering his puppets from the safer vantage point.

"Gatsuga!" came a shout from the escape route of the Cloud shinobi. Akamaru and Kiba charged forward (although Kiba had transformed to look like Akamaru), and the two great fangs cut through the group, scattering them.

Many of them fell into the range of another devastating attack. "Protection of the Eight Trigrams: Sixty-Four Palms!" The invaders tried to evade the chakra blades, but it had been too late when they landed within Hinata's range. The blades carved deep wounds, and were carefully aimed to disable, slicing through limbs only. Between her attack and Kiba's, ten of the twenty men were already down.

The other ten were dealing with a painful mixture of chakra bugs and puppets. The paralyzing poison that Kankuro had dipped the puppets' weapons in was taking affect on some, leaving them helpless on the ground. The last group, trying in vain to hold off the swarm of insects, soon ran out of chakra and passed out as well. The five defenders had managed to capture all twenty enemy ninja. Sakura and other medics later treated the most grievous of the wounds dealt to the enemy. And others began to work on interrogation...

*That night*

With their enemy repelled, at least for the moment, the young shinobi (and some of the older ones, in a different area of the village) had a rather raucous party, involving more than a little sake.

"YEEHAA! We sure got them, eh, Akamaru!" Kiba jumped up and started dancing on the table in his own drunken interpretation of the day's battle.

"Kiba, get off the table!" Sasuke practically shoved Kiba down, just missing a few open bottles of sake, to land on Akamaru's back. Akamaru, at least, hadn't been drinking. He was, however, in the great minority.

"Ten-Ten, put those away! You'll poke an eye out!" Ino was shouting at Ten-Ten, who had pulled out more than a couple of her weapons to 'play' with during the party. However, being almost as drunk, Ino stumbled on her way over and ended up tackling Ten-Ten to the floor, the weapons clattering around them.

"Hey, keep that AWAY from Lee! You may not remember what happens when you get drunk, but we do!" Neji, however, had already had quite a bit to drink, as was evidenced by his tone and volume. Lee, however, did remember, somewhat. He was sticking strictly to non-alcoholic beverages.

"Say, let's have some music!" Shino shouted louder than anyone had ever heard him speak before. "This occasion calls for dancing!"

Even drunk, everyone stared at him for a moment. "Do you even know how to dance?" Shikamaru asked harshly.

"Ah, he's right!" Temari called. "Let's get some music! Snap snap!"

"If things are this bad already," Lee mused, "I wonder how they will be by the end of it? Wait, where's Gaara?"

"With the Elders, I think," Kankuro replied thickly. "Something about him being Kazekage."

"Ah, they're getting just as drunk as the rest of us!" Temari shouted. "Alright! Musicians are here!"

Musicians can be somewhat hard to find in a ninja village, especially ones who do it for a living. Which also meant that when their services were called for, a night like this night, they could make a lot of money. Many of the ninja could play some instrument or another to some degree, but none of the ones here would even be able to tell which way it should point by this time.

"Whoo! C'mon! Let's dance!" Naruto multiplied into many Shadow Clones, and tried to dance with every girl at once. It didn't work. If the clones weren't destroyed by the girl herself, one of the guys would take them out. The real Naruto, however, got the worst of it, an Insane Strength punch from Sakura that sent him flying across the room into the wall.

"Whoops," Sakura slurred. "Shorry, Narutho! I didn'th think I coulth focuth thath well…" She started over towards him, but was intercepted by Sasuke.

"May I have this dance?" Sasuke's eyes actually looked almost normal, the alcohol somehow washing out his Sharingan. Sakura, startled, accepted, and the two began to awkwardly twirl around.

"Hey, he's mine!" Ino shouted. "Leave off, billbo…"

"Oh, no, you're with me, Ino!" Choji cut in before Ino could get the insult out. He cut off her struggles by kissing her right on the lips. She practically melted in his arms, then, not at all helped by them both being too drunk to see straight.

"Okay, Shikamaru, on yer feet!" Temari pulled him up, planning to spin him around in a 'dance'. Instead, he, slightly more sober that she, turned the tables, and countered her spin. Unintended by both, that brought their faces towards one another, stopping mere inches apart. "Uhhh…"

"I think that you're thinking of this, yes?" Shikamaru tugged, bringing Temari's head just a bit closer, and they locked lips. This, he felt, wasn't a drag in the least.

"Naruto!" Hinata called as she realized where he'd ended up. She had for a moment been dancing with her clone of him, until it vanished when the real one hit the wall. "ooh, Naruto, honey, are you hurt? Here, let me make it better." She picked him up and began raining kisses down on his face.

"Hinata! What are you doing? Hinata--!" He was cut off by Hinata kissing him on the lips when his mouth was open for the 'ta' part of her name. He didn't argue any more after that.

"Alright, Neji, get over here!" Ten-Ten shouted from where she was still on the floor after Ino's body slam. Obediently, he came, helping her to her feet. Lee observed that the two of them were probably the most coordinated out of the group when it came to dancing.

"*sigh* I guess we're the odd ones out, huh Kankuro? Kankuro?" Lee looked around to find the puppeteer already passed out on the floor. Shino was out cold, too, and Akamaru had already taken an unconscious Kiba back to their quarters. "Great. I'm the only oddball…for now." Lee thought for a moment and realized that being the only one not drinking, he'd likely end up with a partner before too long, once other guys were too drunk to continue.

Sasuke ended up being the first of the dancers to go, falling on top of Sakura, who shoved him off and into a corner. "You really can'th holth your sake, Sasuke." Sakura giggled and the similarity between 'sake' and 'Sasuke' for a moment before realizing that Lee was extending a hand to help her back to her feet. "Oh, hi Lee. You wanth to danth too?"

Lee didn't bother saying anything, but just helped her to her feet. He then led her in a dance. _This is like a dream come true!_ Lee thought to himself. _Well, almost, _he amended after looking at Sakura's unfocused eyes.

"Hehehe, this way, Naruto…" Hinata giggled as she led Naruto towards another room. In the back of her mind, she knew that she wasn't ever this bold, but it then figured that with that being the case, now was the best time to let it out, even if they might not remember it tomorrow. She giggled again as she shut the door behind them.

"Unh, where'd you go, Sikamara?" Temari fumbled over her words as she looked around blankly for Shikamaru.

"Back here, Temari," Shikamaru replied, much more crisply. Temari then felt herself being bound by Shikamaru's shadow jutsu, and he began walking her off to another room. "Let's go somewhere where we can be alone.

"I likes that idea…" she drawled. Even that part of her that was still somewhat rational decided that this was just fine. Even if they didn't remember much, maybe waking up in the same bed would be enough. A shadow-wrought hand shut the door.

"Oh, Choji…I'm sorry I've been so mean…" Ino's words dragged as she danced with Choji, who was probably the most sober besides Lee, having more mass to dilute the sake in his system.

"Don't worry, Ino, it's fine." Choji wasn't sure if she actually meant it, but he didn't care, either. He lifted her off the floor and kissed her soundly.

"Oh, wow!" Ino exclaimed after they broke off. "I had no idea you were such a good kisser!"

"They say that a man gives his best kisses only to his true love," Choji whispered in her ear, sending a tingle through her body.

"Y'know, Choji, I think…that I've always…kind of liked you…or somethin'." Ino stammered a little, but was looking Choji right in the eyes. "Maybe it was just respect, when we…were kids. I teased you…about your weight…but you didn't care…at all. For someone as…obsessed with her looks…as I've been, that's big. Hold me, Choji…"

"Of course, Ino." He started running his hand down her hair, along her back. "As long as you want, I will, Ino."

"You big oaf…" she teased as he lessened his grip slightly so that her feet were on the ground again. "Hey, what's that?" She asked, pointing behind him.

"What?" he shouted, letting go of her and spinning around. "It's just an open door-" he was cut off as Ino pushed him from behind, through the door.

About this time, Neji finally lost it, and fell to the floor, pulling Ten-Ten down on top of him. Their lips locked for a moment, and then they were both out cold.

Sakura wasn't too far behind them, falling completely slack in Lee's arms. He laid her down against the wall, and began considering what had happened. Then, he smirked, and cleared off part of the table. He was now the only one awake in the room, as the musicians had long since left. He then searched around until he found a pen and paper, and began writing down everything that had happened that night. "Now when they talk about my drinking," he thought aloud, "I'll be able to remind them that I'm not the only one who changes with a touch of sake."


End file.
